Sexual Abuse: A Global Epidemic
As a little
girl, I grew up poor, living in a trailer with abusive parents. My mother is a
closet alcoholic and my father was both physically and mentally abusive…my
first stepfather was a dirty old man, who liked to watch me take a shower and
gave inappropriate massages on a regular basis. I was sexually abused by my stepfather for several years and my mother
did nothing to stop it.
I was scared and confused…and felt
like I was all alone.
Yet, in the bleakest
of times, I maintained a positive outlook on my situation. I believed that one
day, I would grow up and get to tell my story. If I could change just one
person’s life, then all the bad stuff that was happening, wasn’t happening
without a reason.
So here I am…all grown up.
For years I
lived in a silent hell, fighting off depression and suicidal tendencies. When I
wrote my book Tales
of Fried Bologna: A Journey to Forgiveness, it was the first time I spoke
the truth about what had happened to me as a young girl. There is something to
be said in the phrase, “the truth will set you free.” I broke the silence by
speaking my truth, which opened the door for a new kind of freedom and peace,
which I never believed would be possible for a girl like me.
As a teenager and a young adult, I blamed my stepfather for all my
issues. I had blamed him for my failed relationships, my depression, my weight
issues and my anger at the world. You name it, he was the be-all, end-all
answer to every problem I have ever had. It took years of therapy but now I
have forgiven him for what he did. For a long time, I hid the sexual abuse as a secret, only speaking
of it in broken fragments of eluding riddles.
I lived in shame not because of what happened to me but because of how
deeply it impacted me. I felt a tremendous amount of guilty for how bad I felt,
and how I let those experiences shape my life choices. I discounted my own
feelings because I was too embarrassed to compare my experience with a woman
who had been raped or brutally tortured by her abuser.
What
happened to me wasn’t that bad…so why
did I feel so shitty?
What I had failed to see all those years was the truth behind my story…abuse begins the moment it violates your
personal boundaries or compromises your safety, be that physical or
emotional. While I
understand why my stepfather did what he did, and even the choices my mother
made, it does not make sexual abuse
acceptable. Ever.
Yet, sexual abuse is an epidemic that knows
no prejudice. Young girls have been the target of sexual abuse since the beginning of time. And it doesn’t matter if
you are rich or poor, educated or not, sexual
abuse happens daily, around the globe.
Even in the
advanced world we live in today, young girls are being robbed of their
innocence by someone they trust. And sadly, they live in a silent hell…only to
grow up feeling ashamed, and afraid to seek help. The impact of sexual abuse leaves scars that are
debilitating, and can lead to depression, addiction and sometimes death.
I know this, because I lived it.
Recently we
have seen TV ads speaking out against domestic violence and a lot of attention
has been given to the fact that most people suffering from depression never get
the help they need. I believe that in many
cases of depression, the root of the emotion stems from some kind of abuse and
in women, it is very often sexual abuse.
I know it is
not a “trending” topic and it is not one that will be easy to address, but if
we do not break the silence, sexual abuse
will continue to happen to young girls all around the world and for generations
to come. It took a lot of courage to tell my own story and there were many
times while I was writing my book that I thought of quitting because I was afraid
of what people would think about me, especially my family.
But beyond the fear, I had a
deep-rooted hope; a hope that if I had the courage to tell my story, I would
empower others to the same.
It should be
unacceptable to allow anyone to suffer in silence, from any form of abuse.
There are options, and there is hope for happy, healthy and fulfilling life. For
me, happiness and peace came after I chose to forgive my parents. It was not
easy and it took a 365 page book to do it, but it has been worth it. Just because
I was a victim, didn’t mean I had to remain a victim the rest of my life. I had
a choice; we all have a choice.
It is my hope, by continuing to share my story, I will educate young
girls and women that they have options; they too have a choice. They do not
have to remain a victim, but rather can live a life of abundance. I know I cannot
stop sexual abuse from happening, but I believe by sharing my story, I can
shine a much needed light onto this epidemic. If we all speak out, collectively
we can make a difference. If you or anyone you know is currently in danger,
please reach out to your local police department or the Department of Child
Safety.
Break the silence.
Sending you much love,
Sarah Michelle
Success Coach . Trainer . Author . Speaker
Author of Tales of Fried Bologna: A Journey to Forgiveness
www.SarahMichelleBliss.com
